“Mom!!” I scream into my phone as I drive away from Red Mountain Resort under the sinking Utah sun. “Something has happened!”

“Are you OK? What is it? Where are you?”

Entirely breathless, I launch into the past two days at Red Mountain. The desperation. The reiki. The shamanic healing.

“And now … something is different. I can’t even begin to explain it,” I marvel in utter disbelief on the quick change my life has suddenly made.

It’s only been 20 minutes, but I’m high. There is no sad in me anymore.

The sadness, the pain, the hatred, which reared its ugly head and began to drag me down, down, down, has disappeared.

My heart is racing. My shoulders are relaxed. There is this sense of peace I have never felt before that moves through my veins, beats with each pump of blood in my heart.

Suddenly, I am OK.

“Wow,” Mom says after I’ve explained what has just happened to me. “Ride this, D. Ride it as long as you can. But, if you start to feel sad again, don’t get discouraged. Remember this moment and how you feel.”

I promise her I will, and then I drive back in to Las Vegas.

There’s a point when coming into the city I used to loathe: a spot on I-15 when the desert gives way to the resort-laden Las Vegas skyline.

Tonight, as I drive in against a thick black, starless sky, and the bright lights of hotels glimmering in the distance, I don’t feel anything but total elation.

This is my chance to make my life right. This is my chance to love where I am. To love who I am … and I DO.

For the first time in months, I fall asleep and sleep through the night. And, in the morning, I wake up feeling the same high as the day before. I am energized. I have a bounce in my step. I stand in the mirror, trying to think a negative thought about me. But, something happens. I can’t. I don’t cringe. I don’t see something ugly. I see a girl who has finally found her way, finally made those demons who sat on her shoulder whispering into her ear every insecurity in the world have nothing to whisper.

It’s as if a spell has been cast on me.

I am incapable of feeling bad for myself. I am incapable of hating myself. I look in the mirror and I smile … and it is genuine.

I. Am. Happy. Healed.

And, I know what needs to be done with my life.

When I met with the shaman, she had explained to me the need to put my desires out into the universe, to let the world know what I want.

So, on this gorgeous Sunday morning, glowing from the weekend, I put the following out:

I want to quit my job.

I want to travel.

I want to work with elephants.

And then, as if on cue, the universe takes notice.

40 comments

  1. Great post, D. I have been where you are (touched on it a little bit in my latest post), felt what you feel, and am SO excited for you to embark upon this next stage in your journey! To say that it gets better would be a dramatic understatement. So happy for you!

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  2. What! Ah! Where’s the rest? 🙂

    You uttered something I’ve been saying (jokingly, though it’s not) for the past few weeks. I’ve got #1 down. Now for the rest. Actually, maybe it’s time to think of how I put it out there to the universe first of all.

    I’m super thrilled by your post. How inspiring to hear how you felt after your time at Red Mountain! This is amazing! I don’t even know you, and feel incredibly happy for you! I’d love to learn more sometime about what you learned about yourself and how to tell the world what you want.

    Amazing times are ahead.

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    1. Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment! 🙂 For me, I found that as soon as I had some positive energy, it was easy to just put out what I wanted. Plus, as a part of the shamanic session, I was given a rock. For 28 days, I was told to hold it in my hand, concentrate on this statement: “I give myself permission to fulfill my destiny.” Then, I was to blow on the rock. Did it work? I have to say this — in the span of two months, my life has changed dramatically. I have lived more the past two months, had more passion, had better energy, than I have ever had. There are days that suck, days where I feel challenged, but I don’t sit and stew anymore. I am really excited for the future! Hope you continue reading along — there is a lot more to come!

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  3. I’m very happy for you D! To have that bounce, that energy, that positive emotion is something a lot of people don’t have. Grasp it. Embrace it. This is living 🙂

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  4. Yay!! Oh I can’t wait to read your happy adventures. I love how you decided from now on-I’m going to stay this happy. Some get caught up in low spirits and feel trapped. But it’s a long life and every moment is an opportunity to change or be lifted!

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  5. I’ve loved reading how you came to your decision to quit your job in favor of travel and of course, the elephants. So happy for you that you found a way to let go of the negative energy!

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    1. Thank you, Stephanie. I was a bit apprehensive about putting something like this out there since it doesn’t really involve travel exactly … but it is integral to getting to the next part of my story, which is traveling back to Thailand. I appreciate the support!! 🙂

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    1. Thank you!! We HAVE to meet up. I have a horrible stop-over in BKK the night of July 12. Land at 11 p.m., leave at 6 something in the a.m. for Chiang Mai. But, let’s figure something out, please!!

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