Seeking solitude in the Algarve

This is a guest post by Kirk Shackleton.

The Algarve has never really held much of an attraction for me.  I prefer to risk twisting my ankle off the beaten path, which is something I always assumed would be difficult on Portugal’s well-trodden southern crust.

In my mind, I imagined a canvas painted with horizontal blocks of colour: the crystal cyan of the Mediterranean Sea, the roasted golden grains of sandy beaches, an oily bronze of reclined torsos sunning themselves like walruses, the faded white of Algarve hotels, a vivid dark green golf course and, at the top, a cloudless sky blue.

The reality?  Not wildly different, except, possibly, the addition of a neon strip for the clubs that come to life in Praia da Rocha at midnight.

I spent a couple of days in the aforementioned, soaking up pummelling bass vibrations along with the lingering sweat in the palpable morning-after air, before telling the group who had dragged me to the Algarve I was off to find some peace and quiet and would be back the next day.

Sagres is about as far west as you can go along the Algarve before the coastline cuts north, tucked away in the bottom corner of Portugal.  It has been proclaimed the end of the world, a sudden dead end that tumbles towards the vast Atlantic Ocean.

Few travellers make it to Sagres.  Although there is still plenty of Algarve accommodation there, along with the facilities and amenities that most holidaymakers seek, it is not an obvious destination because it is so remote.

The town sits upon a distinctive stretch of coast, a sheer, crumbly edge that could have been carved roughly by a gigantic hacksaw.  The land here is flat, which serves only to enhance the dramatic way in which the earth suddenly succumbs to the crashing ocean.

I was told that in summer, the Algarve beaches in Sagres attract surfers like frugal shoppers to the January sales, but I had them to myself; a solitary figure in no hurry, aimlessly wandering between the lazy wash and the shelter of the cliff wall.

I had spent that morning pacing the perimeter of a fascinating outcrop that hangs tenuously from the base of Portugal like a drip on the end of a hooked nose, dissected by roads that seem like a distant cousin of the Nazca Lines.  Upon it sits Fortaleza de Sagres, a fortress dating back to the 15th century, standing resolute before the Atlantic Ocean.

I happened upon a weathered-looking local dozing heavily against a rock, who stirred as I approached.

‘You want boat?’ he proffered hopefully.

‘Boat where?’ I didn’t have any plans for the afternoon, besides joining the man in his siesta beneath the glowing heat of the sun.

‘Where you want go?’

‘Where do you go?’

After a few more minutes of misunderstanding and unanswered questions, Diego led me to his boat, a small wooden vessel with flaking blue paint and a piece of worn rope holding it loosely to a desolate pier.  As it bobbed gently with the lull of the tide, the rope strained and loosened, groaning as it did so.

It was one of those perplexing tubs which arouse a mild panic as you wonder how is it still afloat? and, more pressingly, what will happen when I step aboard?

I needn’t have worried.

Diego fitted the outboard engine and we were away, chugging doggedly along the coastline like an OAP making a beeline for a table of rich tea biscuits.  Our boat’s momentum punctured the still, clinging air, creating a breeze that feathered our skin against the penetrating sunlight which reflected blindingly off the water’s surface.

I felt like we could go anywhere in our trusty craft; Spain, Africa, America, or just back to Sagres.  Diego, through his silence, was good company.  I let my thoughts wander, eventually settling upon the friends I’d left I Praia da Rocha.  I’ll head back that way… I reasoned …eventually.

About Kirk: Kirk was reared in Australia’s Outback before travelling extensively across the globe, eventually settling in London.  He is passionate about food, travel and any sport that isn’t cricket, and enjoys driving cattle in his spare time.
 

What now?

The End.

Well … not really The End. More like The Beginning of the Next Chapter.

Where am I now? I am in Las Vegas. Working for a restaurant group as the director of communications. What does that mean? I do a lot of writing, pitching, social networking and eating. I do so, so much eating, it isn’t even funny.

The cats are here — both of them (and a post will follow on how to get your pets from Point A to Point B). I am totally moved in, minus the stuff I need an extra pair of arms to do, like hang pictures. I have my car. I have my friends. I have a smile pretty much permanently planted on my face.

Yes, I miss traveling. Terribly. There isn’t a week that goes by where I don’t find my mind drifting back to the past year of my life. But, I enjoy being in Las Vegas. Having my bed. My furniture. My pets. My closet.

Would  I do it all over again? You betcha.

I’ve shared a lot in the past year plus of my life with the Web — my thoughts, my feelings, my travels. And now, it’s time to move on to uncharted blogging territory here on The Adventures of D: Post-Travel.

Well … not really Post-Travel. I mean, I’m not going to really write about my life in Las Vegas (unless ya’ll really want me to, and then my answer is maybe). But, I am going to write more about traveling. Just a bit different.

So, what can you expect from The Adventures of D now that I am leading a stationary (for the most part) life? Fortunately, not all of my readers are stationary. Yup, there are going to be some guest blog posts on here. (If you want to contriubte, chuck an e-mail — dtravelsround@gmail.com — my way). I’m also going to share with you my Lessons Learned. And updates. And tips. And photo essays. And some lists.

And some sponsored blog posts.

Yes, I said it. Sponsored blog posts. It’s a necessary evil for me right now. But, I promise the posts are actually interesting and good reads.

I am always open to suggestions, insight, meet-ups, Tweet Ups, couch surfers, travel buddies … my door is open.

In the meantime, in between time, safe travels. And, remember to LIVE.

Arriving

What’s the first thing I did after booking my plane ticket?

I told the “world” I did it. Via Facebook. Via Twitter. Via text message. Via phone calls.

This was one of those moments I wanted to share with everyone I knew.

I figured it out! I’m going to try and make this work.

I had two weeks to tie up loose ends in Maryland. To create my plan of action for Las Vegas. To figure out when I would move my stuff out of Atlanta. To determine if I was going to fly or drive to Vegas. To nail down how I was going to get the cat’s from Megan’s to Las Vegas. And, yeah, the job thing.

While I was home, I sent out some resumes. Set up some interviews in Vegas. Did what I could to make sure that when I got there, I wouldn’t have to turn around and come home after I had worn out my welcome at Kyla’s.

After some discussion with my dad, we decided driving wasn’t going to be practical, so I went online and had car shipping companies bid on shipping my car to Vegas.

I awoke early on Oct. 30, to the car shippers letting me know they were down the street, ready to pick up my car.

Dad and I drove out to the parking lot, said goodybe to my car, and headed to breakfast.

“You ready for this?” Dad asked over bagels.

“Yup,” I said, feeling energy and excitement oozing from my pores.

Hours later, Mom, Dad and I were hauling my bags to BWI, dropping them at the Southwest check-in, and saying “goodbye.”

The entire flight, my heart thumped loudly in my chest.

Once the wheels were down in Las Vegas, a smile spread across my face.

I walked down the jetway, took in the ringing bells of the slot machines, looked out at the sun setting into the desert sky and knew at that moment I made the right decision.

I had to get to Atlanta. I had to travel the world. I had to end up back where I started.

Viva Las Vegas.

Coming clean

My head was pressed against the steering wheel as I cried into my speakers on the phone with Shane.

“I just can’t do this anymore,” I sobbed. “I don’t want to be here. I want to be in Las Vegas. Or Europe. I am so stuck!”

It had been more than a week since I had been back from Las Vegas and I was frozen.

Stalled.

Stuck in this miserable, awful rut of self-pity. Of confusion. Of every rotten emotion someone could have.

I don’t want to be in Maryland. I want to be in Las Vegas.

“What can you do to make it happen?” My patient friend asked.

I needed a job. I needed money. I needed so many things to simultaneously fall into place that it made my head spin.

“I don’t know.”

A few days earlier I had posted on facebook about how badly I wanted to be back in Las Vegas.

“Just come home …” Kyla had written on my wall. “You can come be a nanny and we will figure it out.”

“Just do it,” he said as I sat in my car, motionless, hoping to regain my composure once I walked in the front door.

“Right,” I began, and then he and I planned everything out.

A few minutes later I had calmed down and let myself in my house, where my dad was sitting at the kitchen table.

“Dad,” I breathed. “I need to talk to you.”

We sat together and I laid it out.

I want to move  back to Las Vegas. Even though I don’t have a job. Even though I am running out of money. Even though my belongings are in Atlanta. I am going to buy a ticket out there, returning in a month for Thanksgiving, and I am going to live with Kyla and I am going to pound the pavement until I find a job. Then, I am going to make my stay as permanent as I can make anything (semi-permanent).

It was a risk. There was a real threat of not succeeding and having to return to Maryland, tail tucked between my legs and even more miserable than I had been.

But, hell. It’s not like I hadn’t taken any risks before. Right?

“OK,” he said, grinning. “You do what you need to do.”

So, I booked a round-trip ticket  from BWI to Las Vegas, Vegas back to BWI… and then another ticket to return to Las Vegas after Thanksgiving.

“I’m doing it,” I said, smiling to myself.

A wave of emotion rushed over me. Comfort. Relief. Challenge.

At that moment, everything finally felt right.

You got to have faith

“I want to move back to Las Vegas, for real,” I said, turning to my best friend, Shane, who was driving us to his parents home so I could see them before I left town in a few hours.

“No, you don’t,” he said. “D, I know you.”

He was right.

There are very few people who know me-know me. Shane is one of them. Kyla is another. And a few more amazing people in my life. He and I had met within my first two months in Las Vegas. His best friend, Monty, was my client and I was on his account. We were launching his film at the now defunct CineVegas. Shane was in the film and I met him during a meeting one day. We clicked, and now he is essentialy my older brother and one of the most important people in my life.

“Shane,” I said, turning to him, very serious. “You know me.  When I set my mind on something, I get what I want. I wanted to move from Las Vegas? I made it happen and got a job in Atlanta. When I said I was done with my job in Las Vegas and was going solo to Europe? I quit my job, cashed in all of my money, put my life in storage, and went to Europe. Now, I want to move back and get a job to Las Vegas. I WILL move to Las Vegas.”

“Alright buddy,” he said, holding out his hand for me to grab. “Do it.”

I grabbed his hand and squeezed.

“You betcha,” I said and then turned towards the window to look at Red Rock Canyon as we drove west on Blue Diamond.

The top 25 reasons why I Love Las Vegas (The List)

25. There is no last call.

Unless you are at a club, then you catch last call and head to ANY other bar in the world because they will always be open.

24. The shopping.

Ummm … the world’s biggest H & M; window-shopping through Wynn, the Forum and The Shoppes at The Palazzo; the 75 percent-off racks at Dillards; the two outlet malls; getting in the car and driving 45 minutes to Primm for another outlet mall (it’s got designer duds) when all else fails. And, if that’s not reason enough, the malls on the Strip close late, even on Sundays.

23. The food.

One word: decadence. There are some amazing places to dine in this town, from the celebrity chef restaurants to the little pizza shop run by a family in Henderson to killer sushi in Summerlin. And, of course, the three restaurants I work for.

22. The weather.

There aren’t many places where you can step outside in the dead of winter and be barefoot with no coat, have the sun beat down on your face and be WARM.

21. The entertainment.

From the free shows to the musical productions to the concerts, Las Vegas has so many options. Every night of the week.

20. The people watching.

There is nothing more priceless than going to The Strip, sitting outside eating brunch (see Reason 23), and observing the people walking along in front of you. Holy wow. You name it, you will see it.

19. Downtown.

It may not be the Downtown every other city has, but it sure is cool. There are some great bars, amazing art and First Friday, where all the cool kids go to get some culture. Bonus points for the Old Vegas Awesome Atmosphere.

18. The grocery stores.

We’ve got Fresh & Easy, which rocks.

17. The Strip.

Yes, sooner or later that one has to be listed. I don’t really enjoy The Strip. I don’t go to The Strip for a night out. But, it is nice to know The Strip is there. It’s fun to drive down it when there is no traffic. It is a picture to behold when passing it on the 15. And, when bored, it is a great way to kill time.

16. Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

I am a sucker for the Winter Dream Tea. It is amazing.

15. The parks.

The city itself may not be an outdoor-lovers idea of a good time. But, to the west is Mt. Charleston, the highest peak in Southern Nevada, with hiking trails, sledding, skiing and snowboarding. There’s also Red Rock Canyon, with even more trails, views and beauty. To the east is Boulder Dam and Lake Mead. In the spring, people head there and rent houseboats for a weekend on the water. And, a little bit out of town is the Valley of Fire, which is like Red Rock on crack.

14. No state tax.

Hello, bigger paycheck.

13. The free drinks you get when you gamble.

At least you are getting something in return for losing your cash.

12. Southwest Air.

Getting away is still (relatively) cheap. And, there are heaps of flights to Las Vegas.

11. The sun.

It is sunny here more than it is not. There’s something to be said for Las Vegas’ blue sky.

10. The view.

Mountains. The Strip. Being parked at the top of Anthem Highlands and looking down at the entire valley glistening below in the middle of the night. And, nothing screams “relax for a minute” than the palm trees.

9. The all-you-can-eat buffets.

Yes, this ties back in to #23, but whatever. This one deserves a standalone. I mean, you can get anything you want at a buffet. And, get it 500 times (or until you get sick). Now, there are even some casinos that offer you a day pass. Sick.

8. The pools.

The Strip pools are pretty much in a class by themselves. I once went to Palazzo’s pool and was given cucumber to put on my eyes.

7. The nightlife.

I don’t like going to clubs, but if I did, Las Vegas would be my idea of heaven. There are the mega clubs, the boutique clubs, the ultra lounge clubs, the super secret/VIP-only clubs and more. Plus, all the DJs that come to town to guest spin.

6. The booze in grocery stores.

And gas stations. I’m from Maryland — where I lived, that didn’t exist.

5.  The slot machines.

They are everywhere. In grocery stores. In gas stations. At the airport. If I ever wanted to lose a quick buck, I could just go across the street to 7-11.

4. The Small Town Vibe.

This can be good or bad. Sometimes, I like it. Sometimes, I don’t.

3. It’s a 45-minute flight to LA.

Trade in the desert for the beach for a long weekend? Yes, please.

2. It’s hard to get lost.

The city is a grid, which is awesome. Plus, at night I always remember the Stratosphere is north, Luxor is southwest, the line of airplanes landing at McCarran is east.

1. The possibility.

There’s just a feeling here … anything can happen.

Some place with a view

I sat in the back of Brock’s SUV, looking out into the nighttime desert landscape … flat and black, giving way to the Strip a few miles ahead of us.

It had been an emotional six days in Las Vegas. I had arrived days earlier and spent my first night with Kyla, showing her photos of my trip and drinking copious amounts of wine before we finally decided to call it a night.

In between then and that moment in the desert, I had gone through a multitude of emotions.

Why am I loving this town so much?

There’s a funny thing that happens to you when you decide to take your life, turn it upside down and then attempt to turn it rightside up.

You grow. You change. You are no longer the same person you were.

I found myself back in the town I had come to adore. And hate. And then love to hate. And then … love?

I had become mesmerized by the city.

It looks different after finding yourself.

My third night in town was my birthday. I had assembled my normal crew of amazing people for my birthday celebration at the old haunt, The Tuscany Casino.

Through my years in Las Vegas, the center bar at Tuscany had been my lifeline. Friends, lovers … they all had been initiated at Tuscany. It was our spot for “emergency drinks” which happened to be three nights a week back in the day. I was on a first name basis with the bartenders. When my favorite bartender had his baby, I dropped off a present for the baby. When a bartender we knew had passed away, I cried. It was my spot.

And, on my birthday, so many of the people I loved were there. My old family.

My comfort.

The next night, Kyla I went out to see my Bulgarian Travel Buddy, Abby, at a party at Gold Lounge inside of Aria at City Center. Abby had just returned from living the ex-pat life in Costa Rica to the pulsing Las Vegas as an editor of a magazine.

Seeing her was amazing. Refreshing. And then, beyond the ropes was my old co-worker and friend, Aimee, and her husband (also my friend), Ben. And then, another old friend from my previous days in Las Vegas, Jason.

I miss this life.

And then, after that, the five of us journeyed to Town Square to grab drinks and catch-up.

“Aimee,” I said to my friend as we sipped our IPA, “I think I may want to move back.”

Admitting it is half the battle.

“D,” she began, frowning, “You were miserable when you were here. I  am so afraid if you come back you will be the same way.”

I knew where she was coming from. I LIVED my misery. But, I also lived my misery in Atlanta, and coming into my own in Europe.

“This is what I want … I think.”

It wasn’t until two nights later, in the middle of the desert, with Brock, that it really hit home.

I love my friends, never misunderstand that. But, when you are traveling you lose touch. You know when you get home, the friendship will pick-up where it left off. However, there are a few people who I actually grew closer with when I was traveling.

Brock was one of them. He became an important person in the last month of my travels.

When I felt like my world was falling apart, when all I wanted to do was come home, when I needed anything, he was  there. We would talk on IM and he would help chase my sad away.

Seeing him was important to me. I wanted to tell him how much he helped me smile when all I wanted to do was cry in Bosnia, in Croatia. When I was dealing with my grandmother’s sickness, and ultimately her death, he was there … a simple click away, saying what I needed to hear.

And, there we were, six weeks later … and I didn’t so much as whisper it to him.

Everything changes when you come home.

The two of us sat, side by side, in the back of his car, looking out into the desert while he strummed his guitar.

We sat there for hours while he played some of his original tunes. Note: Brock is a super talented singer, lyricist and guitar player.

Then, he played a song that hit home. About changing your life. About taking a chance. About going “some place with a view.”

He sat on the bumper, singing that song, and I looked out as the haunting chorus began. Above, at the twinkling stars. In front of me at South Point’s flashing marquee, at the lightning blinking in the distance, at the spotlight of Luxor extending towards the sky.

Thoughts of my trip came flooding back to me … learning Irish locks were tricky on St. Patrick’s Day Eve, teaching English in Spain, not taking it off in Budapest, stumbling onto the massive funeral in Krakow, experiencing Auschwitz, trekking for gorillas in Rwanda, falling in lust in Granada, wandering through Marrakesh, being a spectator at the F1 race in Valencia, Spain, taking it off in Barcelona, falling off a cliff in Turkey, Abby and I joining forces in Eastern Europe, Katie and David in Bosnia, touching my fingers into the water in the Adriatic, sitting by boats in Trogir and crying when I lost my grandmother, coming home.

I sat there, listening to his lyrics and matching them to the vast memories I had tucked away.

My eyes began to well up as I went back and forth between my past and my present. Between knowing what I wanted and having no clue. I sat there, bundled in a jacket, avoiding looking at him because I thought one look would give too much access to my soul.

And then, as he picked the last chords on the guitar, I realized something.

Las Vegas is my home.

“What do you think?” Brock asked, turning to me.

I wanted to turn to face him. To bury my head in his shoulder and cry. I was suddenly overcome with emotions, with feelings I hadn’t expect to have on that chilly October night in the middle of the Las Vegas desert.

You just made my mind open up. I didn’t expect it. I didn’t want it. Oh, you lovely little mind f#$%.

“It … I … I listened to that song and I really related to it,” I said, trying to sound like I at least kind of had my shit together.

Chicken.

I kicked my foot around as it dangled off of the bumper. Uneasy. Unsure of what else I could say without completely losing it and having mascara drip down my cheeks.

I didn’t want to look at him. There was too much of everything pulsing through me at that moment to make sense.

We sat awhile longer as he played me some more music, but by then I had already come to my conclusion:

I am HOME.

Viva Lost Wages

Oh. My. God. Did I just fall back in love with Las Vegas?

I rubbed my eyes and shook off my nearly six(!) hour flight. Thanks, headwinds.

Las [insert expletive here] Vegas.

A rush of emotions filled me silmutaneously.

First — happiness. I was seeing some of my closest friends in the world after a year of being apart and entire lifetime of change.

Second — anxiety. I was only in town for five days. Would I be able to see everyone that mattered to me?

Third — dread. It was my birthday. I was there to celebrate my birthday. But, I really, really liked being 30. I wasn’t ready to usher in another age of wisdom in exchange for the Year of MyLife. And yet, there it was.

Fourth — lust. This used to be MY city. I knew it inside and out. I had come into my own there. I had grown-up (for all intents and purposes) in Las Vegas. It was my home. I was comfortable there.

My home. Yes, I just thought that.

Shake it off, D.

And then, there was Kyla with her 7-year-old son, Presley, in tow, scooping the very emotional me.

As soon as I saw Kyla’s SUV pull up at Passenger Pick-Up, my eyes began to water.

Kyla jumped out of the car to hug me, and then we quickly hopped into the vehicle, ready to get our night started.

Of course, the entire way home, she and I caught up on our lives. I gave her a rough (rough) synopsis of my trip to Europe. Fortunately, she had read some of my blog so she knew the nuts and bolts … I just filled her in on the down and dirty details I kept more or less private.

“Do you remember me?” I asked, turning to the little blonde-headed, blue-eyed boy in the back.

“Yeah,” said Presley, dead serious. “I haven’t see you in 486 days.”

“Well, not that long … but close enough,” I said, smiling.

He was only a little off in the number of days.

“Welcome back!” Kyla said as we pulled up to her house.

Home.

 

That familiar feeling

Las Vegas.

I have had a love/hate relationship with Sin City since I moved there in 2005. Back then, I was a scared mid-20s girl, trying to gracefully exit a number of things: a destructive relationship, a crap job, living with my parents (thank you, Mom and Dad, I love you), as well as trying to become an Adult. 

For approximately three years, I loved Las Vegas. I was mesmerized by everything it offered — the scenery, the excitement, the work. But, in my last year living there, I began to loathe everything about it. Many of my very good friends had decided to move on from the desert, leaving me cloaked in a thick layer of self-pity and depression. When I finally made my exit in the infancy of 2009, I was just about the most miserable person on the face of the earth. Atlanta was calling, and it seemed like the perfect next stop in the road of life.

We all know how Atlanta went for me. And, if you don’t, check out one of my most popular posts about quitting my job.

Before my trip to Europe, I had returned to my old stomping grounds twice. On my second trip, I vividly remember when my Atlantan friend, Karen (who is awesome). picked me up from the airport.

“Hi,” I said into my phone upon arriving to the massive airport. “I’m at baggage claim.”

“I’m on my way,” she responded.

“Oh, just so you know, after the weekend I had, I decided I am back to Vegas.”

“No way … I’m not picking you up if that’s true.”

It wasn’t. In fact, during the trip I had informed Kyla, one of my closest friends in the entire world and a Las Vegas local, there was no way in hell I would ever move back there.

It was a fun place. Las Vegas had a spot in my heart, but that was it.

Cut to October, 2010.

After being back in America for about two weeks, I had unwound and tried to get back together. I had booked this trip when I was in Croatia, when I realized returning to Spain was not an option.

This trip was my break from the boring life I had come to lead. I HAD to get away … being stationary for two weeks had ripped me apart.

On the flight, my heart began to beat faster as we began to descend into Las Vegas.

I was greeted with one of my favorite sites in the world — the Las Vegas Valley.

The view from the airplane is nothing short of spectacular.

Imagine, if you will, flying at night. You look out the window into the darkness. Then, in front of you, a jagged separation between dark and light.

That’s the mountains giving way to the valley in front of it.

Twinkling below you are millions of little lights, essentialy an entire valley of Glow. Then, you get closer and you start to make out the Strip and the mammoth mega resorts glistening in the distance. And, then you are even closer, and you can start to see headlights and taillights on Sunset and the highway carved into the city. And then, you are landing, and there’s the green-lit MGM, the New York – New York skyline, the new towers of City Center, the sleek curved Wynn and Encore. Then, it’s wheels down.

Oh my god.

When we cruised to the gate at McCarran, I was suddenly overcome.

What just happened to me?

I walked down the jetway, bag (not my backpack), slung over my shoulder and I reached for my phone.

“Kyla,” I said into my very janky Blackberry. “Honey, I’m home.”

Was I?

Purgatory

I landed in Las Vegas 12 days after my Escape from Suburbia to celebrate my birthday. Between my road trip with Jason and Las Vegs I was stuck in this hell. This … purgatory.

The transition from traveling to arriving home to getting your shit together is the biggest mind f#$% in the world. The world traveler has just come down from the highest of highs and this existence (which can’t be described accurately with any words from the dictionary) suddenly vanishes.

I had absolutely no clue what the hell I was doing. What I was going to do. Where I was going to go.

I knew something was going to happen. I just didn’t know what. I knew something was coming …

But, until I had that moment, my life would play out uncharacteristically dull. And kinda sad.

My days went like this:

11 a.m.: Wake-up.

11:01  a.m. – noon: Turn on my iTouch and check e-mails, facebook, Twitter, play Words With Friends, invite random people to play Words With Friends against me, tool around on the internet and then pull the blankets back up to my neck while I contemplated just what the hell I was going to do with myself during the day.

Noon – 12:15 p.m.: Determine the One Big Thing I could do for the day. That’s right. One. Big. Thing. It could have been anything from paying a bill to going to fill-out a job application at a restaurant to just walking aimlessly through the shopping mall. I was so not motivated to do anything. And, all I saw before me was a void of nothingness. Therefore, I had to give myself One Big Thing to do every day. Otherwise, I didn’t think I could get out of bed.

12:15 p.m. – 3 p.m.: Drag out the One Big Thing as long as possible because my parents aren’t home, my friends aren’t off work and there is absolute shit on the television.

3 p.m. – 5 p.m.: Crawl back into bed. Watch whatever absolute shit is on the television until I fall asleep. Because I am that bored.

5 p.m. – 6 p.m.: Wake-up, wander down stairs (likely with a pout on my face because by then I had hit the pity-party mode), pet the dogs, chat with my parents, eat dinner. Then, after dinner, sit at the kitchen table and stare blankly at the digital clock on the stainless steel microwave, or outside as the sunset gave way to night and the trees changed in color and then disappeared into the darkness.

6 p.m. – 6:15 p.m.: Text Megan. Call Megan. Con her into going out, or having me over because I “just can’t sit here any longer.”

6:15 p.m. – 7 p.m.: Get antsy. I almost can leave. I have a reason to get out of the house.

7 p.m. – midnight: Hang with Megan. Bitch about having to figure out this next chapter. Consume a beer. Or wine. Likely at the bar. Most likely Rockafellas where Jason bartends.

Midnight – 2 a.m.:  Crawl into bed. Watch more absolute shit television. Tool around on my iTouch. Turn off the television. Lay in bed and stare at the dark ceiling, thinking and thinking and thinking until I fall asleep.

2 a.m. – 11 a.m.: Sleep. Dream about being back in Europe.

11 a.m.: Wake-up and do it all over again.

It is  important to note that everyday, without fail, I made sure to remember something from my travels. Most of the time, it was marveling that “oh my gosh, x amount of months ago I was in x hostel, in x city, and man was it something …”

But, I had to do it. To remind myself that I was that happy. That I know feeling that happy again was going to happen again.

Once I landed in Las Vegas, my life changed.