When words fail

For the last 8-plus months, I have been living as an expat in Thailand. I have been living, breathing animal rights — particularly as it relates to Asian elephants — traveling and getting caught up in the same little things I got caught up in when I was living in Las Vegas. Namely, personal relationships.

And, because of this, I haven’t been able to write. Well, write about  my life. About the people who make my life my life, because, unlike when I am moving around and traveling, I am stationary. The people in my life are actually in my life. They aren’t fleeting affairs of the heart, random moments with strangers talking travel, wild nights out or quiet nights in watching “Glee.”

This has caused a problem. I want to write. I want to tell you about Gary, the often-times charming older man who used to be my neighbor. I want to share my stories with you about Aaron and the cheeky conversations we have and the amazing support he has given me. I want to tell you about the time Paula and I sat at Ciccia’s House and downed a bottle of Sangsom and our revelations about our lives. I want to dish  about the crushes I’ve had. The  people who were in my life and left — and the reasons why. And more. But, my problem is I can’t.

For many reasons.

The biggest one is my loyalty to my relationships with these people. Where does it cross the line between writer/blogger and violating the trust/friendships/non-friendships of people? How can I express my feelings I had for someone who may or may not read this without exposing myself when I don’t want to be exposed? The people in my life are extremely valuable and I don’t want to lose the trust we have with each other by sharing my stories here.

What happens at the end of the day, when I’m living my life and the words I want to share can no longer be shared?

It’s the reason I’ve been quiet on here … I’ve been pondering where I go … what I do with my writing as my life here becomes more permanent.

Then, there is the issue of time. I want a life here. I try to have a life here. When I lived in Las Vegas, I was able to balance work, writing and a social life. Here, it is a bit different. The lifestyle here is what Thai’s refer to as mai pen rai, no worries. It’s so easy to just be walking home from work and get roped into a chat at the local watering hole, grab a beer and get sucked in. And, in the past few months, I’ve actually developed a social circle, which has been wonderful for me, not so wonderful for d travels ’round.

Sure, there are things I plan on writing about. Photo essays I know I will share. Little juicy morsels of life here … just different from the way it used to be.

Oh, and plus, I have this nasty case of writer’s block. And I need to edit my book (which will be out sooner than later, I hope).

I hope you’re OK with that. I hope you still support me. And, I hope my stories can still provide you with what it is you are looking for when you visit here.

What do you want to read about?